Reading & writing

Read a cute mystery this morning and have been working on my great American novel this afternoon.

The thing is though now that I'm a writer (because I've been writing for 18 months...lol) I read differently. I no longer just read the words and enjoy the story. Now I read and, "Oh! Look at how she did that." or "Oh, I need to remember that technique." or "ooooh good word."

I've taken to reading with a notebook and pen next to me so I can take notes. Sometimes things I read will trigger something else in my mind that I may be able to use so I jot it in my notebook. This is the notebook that I take everywhere with me.

For instance, a scene I read had the character take her straw out of the paper wrapper and my mind said, "Oh! You can have your characters shoot the paper at each other while they wait for their food at the restaurant."

See what I mean?

Reading has become less fun and more work.

But I still *love* it!

Looking for clean reads!

Any recommendations for books in the general market that are considered clean reads? I need to branch out and read more but don't want to be ambushed by naughty stuff!

$1 cell phone story

This is the $1 cell phone story.

Back in November we made the switch from a land line to all cell phones. One nice thing about this is that we're not in the phone book at all so the only people who get the number are the ones we've given it to. There are also a few problems with this plan of ours. One major problem is that the phone is so small it gets lost. Most often in the 11 year old's room (she's on the phone more than the rest of us combined.)

So several weeks ago we had some friends come to visit and I dropped the cell phone on the kitchen floor. It banged hard. So hard that it no longer produced any sound. Wouldn't ring. Wouldn't beep when you pushed the numbers. Wouldn't ring when you called someone (even though the phone you'd call would ring.)

Mr. Man took it the next day and traded it in for a new one. Paid $30 to get a replacement phone of the same kind.

The very next day the phone disappeared. 11 year old and I searched high and low for it. "I didn't have it," she said.

I did the logical thing and dialed the new phone from my cell phone. We could hear a muffled ring and tried to find it.

11 year old found it and grimly carried it in to where I was sitting.

"It was in the hot soapy dishwater," she says. "And I didn't do it."

No. Of course not. *sigh* Even though she was carrying it when she dropped her dinner dish into the water. Couldn't possibly have been her.

We tried drying the phone out but it hasn't been the same since. Now it turns itself on and off at will. We'll hear it bum-bum-bum-bum at all hours of the day (and night) as it looks for service.

The funny thing is that when we were cleaning out the basement a couple weeks ago we found three old cell phones. We could have had any one of them switched to the new number without paying the $30 for the replacement phone.

Guess what we're going to do?

Oh yeah, I bet you're wondering why this is called the $1 cell phone story aren't you?

Because when I decided to share the story the 11 year old said, "You can tell it only if you pay me $1."

Yeah, I paid.

I know who you are!

The phone rang one night not too long ago. I answered it to hear,

"Is Pastor Keller home?"
Pastor Keller hasn't pastored our church for seven years.
I said, "Do you mean Pastor Schaffer?"
The voice paused and said, "No, is Pastor Keller home?"
Again I said, "You mean Pastor Schaffer."

Then they hung up.
Didn't say another word. Didn't laugh.
Just CLICK.

I bet they thought I'd never know who it was.
Before the wonders of Caller I.D. I probably never would have.
I looked at the phone number and then Googled it.

Yeah...I know which church member it was!

Pastor sells Congregation on eBay

BIG TIMBER, Mont. — Without their consent or knowledge, a pastor in rural Montana has sold his church and congregation on eBay for $3 million.
"I finally got good and sick of them," says Tad Marshall, pastor for 15 years who completed the secret sale last week. "This serves them right. All of them."
But many in the church are stunned by the Marshall family’s sudden departure.
"We had such a good relationship," says Winifred Barnes. "Whenever I called him in the middle of the night to pray for my psoriasis, he was happy to help. I’m surprised he would treat us this way."
Others expressed similar feelings.
"We would stop by for surprise visits every time he had a day off, and his wife was always quick to put a pot of coffee on," says Fred Souther. "We’d sit there and chat for hours. Those were wonderful times."
One woman recalls how Pastor Marshall responded to her plea to visit her ailing mother every day during her prolonged illness at a hospital 78 miles away.
"I don’t think he did it because we threatened to quit the church. I think he was genuinely concerned for Mother even though she was in a coma," she says. "We would sit with her for hours singing hymns to her. I could tell he was blessed by it."
Another longtime member recalls the day a group of women surprised the pastor’s wife with an impromptu shopping trip.
"It was clear she was unable to afford modest clothing, so we charged right in and threw away everything in her closet," she says. "Then we bought her new ankle-length dresses with long sleeves. She cried tears of joy that day. She kept saying, ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this.’ It was a bonding moment for all of us."
Even the board, which had its share of differences with Marshall, recalls him fondly. They say he happily abided by the church’s Dress and Grooming Code, kept sermons to 23 minutes as the board required and even abandoned his use of the New Living translation on Sunday morning.
"Once he understood it is a devilish translation that twists the words of the original spoken English, he said he’d be happy to go back to using the Authorized King James Version," an elder says. "That’s the way Tad was. A real go-along guy."
Friends from out of state say Marshall came to rural Montana hoping to find a friendly lifestyle where he could help good-hearted people grow closer to Christ. Instead he found "an enclave of faux-Christian Pharisees" who demanded he serve their every whim, says one seminary buddy. One day while selling old exercise equipment on eBay to supplement his church income, which had been docked by the board because a service had gone too long, Marshall decided to rid himself of the congregation in a creative way.
His eBay listing emphasized the positive: "This delightful country church sits on 2 acres of land. Comes complete with congregation and 35 regular tithers! Sunday school wing, no mortgage. Bids start at $200,000."
Recent Bible college graduates bid first, hoping to gain a built-in congregation on the cheap. Then several entrepreneurs with ministry ambitions swooped in, driving the price up. Kevin Silver, a 39-year-old former Internet company founder, won with a last-minute bid. He is looking forward to "leaving the spiritual corruption of the big city behind" and taking the helm of the rural congregation.
"I always wanted to serve at a little country church where decent people just want to pursue God," he says. "My wife and I are looking forward to settling into community life and getting to know these wonderful folks. This will be a great second chapter of life for us." •

www.larknews.com/febru...php?page=1

(just thought you'd enjoy a good laugh!)

Pirates

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything that is.
Took the kids to see it at the theater today and I did something I've never done before.

I complained to the management about another patron.

Maybe it's all the mystery shopping that gave me the courage.

Just as the movie was starting a woman came in with four little children. I'm pretty sure she was the grandma. They sat in the same row as us (the back row) on the opposite end. From the moment they arrived they were loud. VERY LOUD. Finally the people seated in front of them (after many look-back-over-the-shoulder-at-them looks) got up and moved.

Then grandma's phone rang. And she answered it. And talked LOUD.

I left and went to speak to the manager. He told me to go ahead back in and he'd be in a couple minutes so that she wouldn't know it was me.

I went back in and hubby said that she was "shushed" three times by the people 4 rows ahead of them.

Pretty soon Mr. Manager comes in and speaks with her.

He left and things did not improve. He came back a few minutes later and observed her and then asked her to leave. He escorted her and her brood right out of the showing.

Never had that happen before. I felt kinda bad, but the place was oh-so-quiet after she left.

The other day we went grocery shopping. While on the way home three cars in three separate locations did u-turns in the middle of the road-with traffic around. By the time the third car did it the kids were asking if it was all right to do that. I mentioned something about it usually being illegal. Hubby said, "Not in our state" and then we passed a church sign that read:

"God allows U-turns"

We laughed the whole way home.